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Sent to me by Wanda

 

Children

 

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces and nephews, or students.... here is something to make you chuckle.

 

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.

 

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was, "Don't."

 

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

 

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

 

"Forbidden fruit?

 

We have forbidden fruit?

 

Hey, Eve. . . we have forbidden fruit!"

 

"No way!"

 

"Yes, way!"

 

"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.

 

"Why?"

 

"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, (wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants).

A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and was He ticked!

 

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit? "God, as our first parent, asked?

 

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

 

"Then why did you?" said the Father.

 

"I don't know," said Eve.

 

"She started it!" Adam said,

 

"Did not!" "Did too!" "DID NOT!

 

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.

 

Thus, the pattern was set and it has never changed!

But there is reassurance in this story.

 

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

 

Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children."

 

CHILDREN

 

You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk.  Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up.

 Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like clearing the driveway before it has stopped snowing.

 There is only one pretty child in the world and every mother has it. (Chinese Proverb.)

 Mothers of teens know why animals eat their young.

 I asked Mom if I was a gifted child... she said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.

 Children are natural mimics, who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

 Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

 The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

 We child proofed our home 3 years ago and they're still getting in!

 

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

 

 

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