EBPN
HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SURVIVE?
Recently, when I went
to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could Have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen
nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets", said the teenager at the
counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or
twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half-dozen nuggets, but I
can order six?"
"That's
right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
The paragraph above
doesn't amaze me because of what happened a couple of months ago. I was checking
out at the local Foodland with just a few items
and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked
up one of those "Dividers" that they keep by the cash register and
placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had
scanned all of my items, she picked up the "Divider" looking it all
over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to
me "Do you know how much this is?" and I said to her "I've
changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today". She said
"OK" and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what
had just happened...
A lady at work was
seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very
quickly. When inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on
the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the
ATM "thingy".
I recently saw a
distraught young lady weeping beside her car. Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I
should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get
into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenient store) would
have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm
too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered,
handing it and the car keys to me.
As I took the key and
manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and
check about the batteries? Its a
long walk.”
Several years ago, we
had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she
was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of
typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the
secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of
paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank"
copies.
I was in a car
dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed
into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and
the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister". I asked
the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the
"cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
IDIOTS AT WORK...
Sign in a gas station: Coke -- 49 cents. Two for a dollar.
IDIOTS &
COMPUTERS
My neighbor works in the operations department in the
central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they
have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one
of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the
back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
IDIOTS ARE EASY TO
PLEASE
I was sitting in my science class, when the teacher commented that the
next day would be the shortest day of the year. My lab partner became visibly excited, cheering and clapping.
I explained to her that the amount of daylight changes, not the actual amount of
time. Needless to say, she was very
disappointed.
Police in Radnor,
Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal
colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine.
The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police
pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the
truth. Believing the "lie
detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
"Take time to laugh
for it is the music of the soul"
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