EBPN
This just goes to show you, truth is often stranger than fiction...
Sad,
but true!
Sent
to me by Kimani and Heather
IDIOT #1
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught
her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not
harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She
calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she
gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her
that she better bring her daughter into the Emergency Room right away.
IDIOT #2
Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out
of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the river, they were
surprised by a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that
the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that is activated when
the raft is inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.
IDIOT #3
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all
the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the
robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf.
He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused and
said, “Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was,
but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At
this point the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to
the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21
and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his
loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of
the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours
later.
IDIOT #4
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop, nervously waving
revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner
moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
IDIOT #5
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze,
and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the
window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head,
knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made
IDIOT #6
Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked
into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50am, flashed a gun and demanded
cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash
register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said
they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
IDIOT #7
A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank
of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all
your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to
the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might
call the police before he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of
America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in
line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising
from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest
light
in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it
was written on a
Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a
Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat
defeated, the man said "OK" and left. He was
arrested
a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
IDIOT #8
(I REALLY LOVE THIS ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in
the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent
the police department a photograph of $40.
Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained
another picture of handcuffs.
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